How to Not Be Topless in 5 Minutes or Less
4 years ago I bought a tube top bikini on sale at Old Navy. It has nautical stripes and can easily be mistaken for Ralph Lauren if you squint hard enough. It is all I can ask for in a swimsuit with one minor exception. Every instance of me wearing this bikini ends with the top spontaneously falling off me. The clasp is wily and I am stubborn. This sounds more provocative than it actually is. I somehow always manage to pin my arms to my body with a superhuman strength that has failed to manifest itself in any other circumstance, thus preventing toplessness.
2 days ago I finally took action. I removed the clasp entirely and sewed the back ends together. This took all of five minutes. Save for my sudden urges to jump into deep water from heights of 20 feet or more (keep it to yourself, Jame-O), there is virtually no chance that my bikini top will leave my body against my will. Ho hum.
1 comment:
I love that you're writing about bikini repair in october, as if we don't know that you live in Minneapolis, and are months out of swim season. oh, honey....
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